I usually try
Can I use the gun? I wish! It's a nickel. Hi, I'm a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute. Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Why would I want to know that? So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct? Noooooo! They're like sex, except I'm having them! Bite my shiny metal ass. Belligerent and numerous. Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged. You, a bobsleder!? That I'd like to see! Why yes! Thanks for noticing. I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. You guys go on without me! I'm going to go… look for more stuff to steal!